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The Theory Of Merchickens
Righty-doke. This is where I may lose a couple of you! But bear with me on this one! In one of my spates of randomness, I formulated a Theory for the creation of underwater farm fowl. Merchickens.
Take chickens. Now put them back- I need them for my theory! (Sorry, couldn't resist!) Right, chickens. Land animal. Breathes oxygen. Water- no oxygen. Problem? Not with the magical wonders of evolution!.
First we put the chickens in a pressure-resistant chamber-esque thing and slowly.... very slowly.... exceedingly slowly... exasperatingly slowly, you turn up the pressure inside the chamber. Eventually after a very, exceedingly long, exasperatingly long amount of time, the pressure inside the chamber will be the same as outside and the chickens would have adapted. ...Or been crushed to a McDonalds McNugget.
In which case you go back to the beginning with a new batch of chickens and start again... but this time, do it eeeeeeven slower! Eventually you can let them out in the sea and they'd be fine with the pressure... but they'd drown and float away. Ah. 2 more problems!
Next, we put the chickens in specially made breathing gear with adjustible levels of oxygen. We attach (non-toxic, we don't wanna kill 'em!) weights to the chickens and sink them to the bottom of the sea. Right. Now they're down there. 2 problems solved. but we can't keep the weights on the forever and we can't keep feeding them oxygen.
After... ooh... a few hundred or so years, we decrease the amount of oxygen and weights on the chickens. The weak will die off, only the strong will survive and breed (the young will have to be fitted with the apparatus too, don't want the little things floating away!). The chickens will adapt to their new surroundings and will learn to keep themselves underwater and swim when the currents threaten them due to the lessened weights.
Eventually... many.... MANY thousands of years later, they will have developed an alternative life underwater. We may even see cross-breeding between them and the other aquatic life. Chickens and sharks - Charks. Chickens and fish - Fiskins.
And then... hey presto... MERCHICKENS! A new species for our expanding natural world. You could even keep them as house pets! They may even replace the humble goldfish!
As an afterthought in regards to the amount of oxygen required for this mammoth task in DIY evolution, the scientists in charge will have to aquire a rather large section of Africa or some place similar and take it from there. I don't mean they'll go up to a random tribe member and shove a hoover in their gob! They can use their advanced scientific skull-fillers (brains to you and me) to come up with a way of taking it directly from trees and plantlife.
Plantlife... that reminds me. Food. Chickens need food. The underwater plantlife should suffice and we may even see the first carniverous chickens that decide to spear a fish or two for tea!
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